• blog post by Derek Sivers (2009-09-01)

Kurt Vonnegut explained, at a talk in New York a few years ago, why people have such a need for drama in their life.

He said, "People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is, they think life is supposed to be like the stories. Let's look at a few examples."

He drew a chart for happiness on the board:

(Time moves from left to right. Happiness from bottom to top.)

He said, "Let's look at a very common story arc. The story of Cinderella."

"People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this."

He wiped the board clean and said, "Now let's look at another popular story arc: the disaster."

"People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this."

But the problem is, life is really like this...

"But because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think are lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! So people pretend there is drama where there is none."

That's why people invent fights. That's why we're drawn to sports. That's why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal.

We're trying to make our life into a fairy tale.