Concept

A game (made of a series of minigames) in which you must avoid the perils of childhood!

It would be funny if it was ATARI-esque and astract, with only the vaguest connection to the actual real experience. (Just clones of simple archetypal videogames with thematic elements shoehorned in.)

Mini-games

• Sperm race!!
• Escaping the womb
• Breastfeeding
• Wake up parents in middle of night
• Learn to walk
• Dodge grandmas trying to pinch your cheeks
• Playing outside (avoid strangers with candy, hawks and badgers)
• Parents trying to fill your head with nonsense
• Church trying to fill your head with nonsense
• School trying to fill your head with nonsense
  • multiple-choice tests
  • the right answers are always wrong
  • to get good marks you have to pick the wrong answers
  • if you fail this level, you have to play a game where you avoid your parents beating you up
• Dodgeball
• Screwing around in the back seat while avoiding the ANGRY ARM OF THE DAD
  • must reduce boredom without taking damage

Each game is a different set of minigames

Each game can be unique based on the random environment you're given:

• type of parents
• setting (urban, suburbs, antarctica)
  • eg: in the suburbs, you have to play outside while avoiding badgers and hawks. in the city, you have to avoid cars and strangers with candy.
• type of school
• type of church

Failing a mingame takes you to another minigame

There are consequences to failing each game in childhood!

If you fail too many games at home, your home is turned into ORPHANAGE.

End of game

At the end of the game, you are told what you turned out to be given how well you navigated childhood. (eg. priest, serial killer, hobo, etc.)

• the worse you do in childhood, the better your end-result
  • eg. someone who failed everything in school turns out to be EINSTEIN, and someone who does well turns out to be HITLER