intro and transcription by some guy on the interweeb
Dipping into the new collection of some of comedian Bill Hicks' best stuff, I am reminded forcefully of two things. One: the man was a god. Two: there is no justice in the world. Bill Hicks: dead. Jim Davidson: still alive. If anyone who believes in God's infinite wisdom would care to write and explain that to me, I'd be very interested.
In the meantime, as a reminder of the man's genius, here's what he had to say about advertising:
By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no -- it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root... I don't know, you try; you do what you can... Kill yourself... Seriously though, if you are, do... Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, okay? Kill yourself... seriously... You are the ruiner of all things good... seriously.
No, this is not a joke. You're going, "there's going to be a joke coming." There's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked and you are fucking us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself. Just planting seeds.
I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke"... there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a friend -- I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations.
I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart." Oh man, I am not doing that. You fucking evil scumbags! "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research; huge market. He's doing a good thing." Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet! "Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market... Bill's very bright to do that." God, I'm just caught in a fucking web! "Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..." How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you?