The Day-Off Pill

This product would be marketed as a series of pills which simulate the symptoms of different diseases for a short period of time (about an hour or two). You can take one of these pills when you want an irrefutable excuse to avoid something.

There will be a wide array of simulated illnesses:

• The Head-cold

  • Simulates a stuffed nose, sneezing fits, and red watery eyes.

• The Cruiseline

  • Makes you look extremely green around the gills and sweaty.

• The Plague

  • Gives you that stylish heroin-addict look.

All of the above will also give you an elevated temperature for a short period of time (which shouldn't cause significant damage to your body).